1. People treat you differently
On your birthday, most people will treat you as if they liked you more. Feels good, doesn't it? No, it just shows you what things could be, but are not. "I don't like you that much, but it's your birthday, so I'm going to pretend that I wish you all these nice things, when in reality, I could care less about you." Real friends don't have to prove verbally that they mean you well - you already know that, dummy!
2. Relatives bother you
Members of the family are dying to prove their love for you, and this is their perfect opportunity to bother you with nonsense. They'll talk to you for hours about stuff that you don't care about, and let's not also forget that they will proudly give you many embarrassingly cheap presents that you will eagerly throw out later.
3. Strangers bother you
People that you barely know are now contacting you because they probably believe that now they have an occasion to know you better, or they're just bored. Awkward conversations inevitably follow, accompanied with a feeling of emptiness.
4. You're expected to celebrate
You're expected to invite all your friends and throw a party. At first it sounds like a good idea, but what if you're too busy to bother? What if you're poor and you can't afford it? What if you're depressed? I mean, why not? Being born some years ago isn't really a great reason to be happy, especially if your life is shit. I'm sure that a lot of people with shit lives wish they haven't been born at all.
5. Not on my birthday!
If you believe that you're entitled to having a good time on your birthday, you'll probably have a very bad time then, instead. Why don't you instead just go on with your daily proceedings, and remove any false sense of entitlement?
6. Interruption
Just when you're about to finish something important, here comes your birthday. Now there are so many nuisances around, that you can't focus on your work, and you'll have to leave it if you want to avoid being terribly frustrated. A day has passed now, and you no longer have the motivation and enthusiasm to finish what you've started.
7. You're reminded of astrology
At least one person will utter some nonsense related to your astrological sign. Having been born on a certain date comes along with the consequences of people judging you for that, despite the fact that astrology has been proven wrong centuries ago.
If someone you know has a birthday:
1. You're expected to buy them a present
You'll have to worry about picking the right gift, and you'll have to worry about your budget. That's time, effort, and money, that you're spending on the birthday boy. Did he earn it? Ah yes... he was born some years ago on that same day. Well that certainly takes him quite the effort now, doesn't it!
2. You're expected to wish them nice things
"It's my birthday, so you'd better prove that you mean me well, or else I will unfriend you"! You'll have to think of something clever and stupid at the same time. If you know the person with the birthday well, you're expected to wish them things that they want, but that you couldn't buy them as a present. So you wish them good health, good luck, etc. Turns out everybody else wished them the same thing and now you feel bad for being banal.
3. You're invited to a big party
Admit it, big parties suck. There are too many people and there's too much noise. There are people that you don't know, and people that you don't like. In order for everyone to take part in the conversation, the topics have to be trivial and boring. That's why, instead, there is often very loud music playing; probably music that you don't like, because it has to appeal to everyone and it mustn't offend anyone.
