Fiction Bullshit

It's time the truth be told. Zombies suck. Vampires suck. Robots suck. Ninja suck. Pirates suck. You're not cool if you think any of this stuff rules. Zombies and vampires suck because they don't exist. Metaphorically speaking, sure they do, but that's irrelevant.



Robots suck because they are machines - slaves to humanity.
They can't do shit unless they are programmed to.



Ninja suck because they are obsolete - the guy with the finger on the trigger is not afraid of your skills in martial arts. The Japan Self-Defense Forces consist of the following military units: armies, maritime districts, and air defense forces. I don't see Ninja in the list. Check out the weapons of JSDF. Do you see swords? Do you see shuriken? Shobo? Suntetsu?



Pirates suck because in reality they're nothing more than criminals. And I'm pretty much sure most of them speak and dress normally - sorry to ruin your homosexual fantasies. Parrots and hooks? Seriously, get a life.



You don't have to worship idealized versions of stuff that sucks in order to gain new friends on the internet. Unless you want to befriend losers. And don't even start with with that Batman-Superman bullshit. I don't care which fictional character you find best, because I can always have him beat by my imaginary legendary hero. All I need to say is that my character is just like yours, except he's immortal, invisible, nothing can take away his super powers, and he controls all matter.



I hate geeks and their stupid bullshit. It's not that it's their fault, but talking passionately about fictional issues just pisses me off. I can't help but feel contempt for them. I don't fucking care if Microsoft is an "evil" company. I'm still gonna buy an Xbox360 because it's a cheap platform, and the game coverage is decent. Also, I can hack the console, download games from the internet, burn them on DVD's, and play them for free. I bet you can't do that on your PlayStation 3, smug motherfucker. Enjoy your exclusive shitty games. You're a supporter of a fictional cause that has no realistic basis. I'm tired of bullshit.

Merry Fucking Christmas

Saying "Fucking" between "Merry" and "Christmas" doesn't make you less gay. That's like fucking a dude and pretending he's a chick. You either say "Marry Christmas" and admit that you're gay, or you don't say anything. I can't believe that people who claim to be atheists still follow the tradition and take part in this mass hypnosis. I mean yeah, it's a good holiday, people get to spend more money and stimulate the economy. I'm alright with that, but keep Jesus out of it. It's Satan's party, he's the one fucking shit up. Satan Lucas and his demons, working hard in the Temptation Workshop. Parents annually lend their children's souls in return for Satan's presents - weapons of mass psychological control. OBEY, be a "good" child! Satan's watching. You don't get a present if you misbehave. Satan SEES. Parents are happy with a soulless infant who blindly follows their commands, without ever questioning them, and that's why we don't see any rebels.

Fuck holidays, man... My present to you wouldn't really do much if I've been continuously working on your indoctrination and decay. It's all hypocrisy. You only call me on my Birthday, and I'm supposed to thank you for your kind wishes. Kind wishes mean nothing, plus, I didn't ask for your annoyance. A great tip from my brother: here's a thing you can do with every Greeting Card that you receive - scratch Sender's name and write yours instead, then send it back to them. If you received an e-card, go to the website where the link came from, choose the same card, copy-paste Sender's text, then put your name and email under it.

Holidays are the perfect time for nuisances to show up and ruin your good mood. They don't care about you, but they are afraid about their social status. Everything has to be perfect within the family around the holidays. You have to show how much you care, you have to show what a good and generous person you are. It doesn't really matter if you are any of these things. And I know most of you reading this would agree with me, and I know you're thinking this is old stuff and we all know this is so, but then the next time we meet you're giving me the same holiday bullshit. I'm so tired of arguing about traditions that this entry probably turned out boring and lifeless. I'm sure other people have written about this, so I don't really bother trying to be original. You get my point, I hate fakes, and all holidays do is promote hypocrisy.

Product Placement

How come critics always use product placement as an argument against the quality of a movie? If I were producing an independent movie, I would overload it with as much covert advertising as I can. I would rely on smaller companies that have proven their worth, like Shasta Beverages, Sam's Choice, Frito-Lay, Jack Link's, ConAgra Foods, and many others. I'd get a whole bunch of them advertise in my awesome movie. Nobody has done smaller companies so far. It's great fun.

Nowadays, it's popular to purchase cheap unpopular products, especially if they are badly advertised and look like shit. There is some sentimental value in getting crap like that. It's also a bit extreme. You never know what's gonna make you beg to vomit before you kill yourself. I would plug these kinds of products for free, I don't care. People will have fun spotting them in the store after watching my film. It will be like finding Waldo. Some might even need to travel to California in order to enjoy the wonderful taste of the local beverages. Reminds me of White Castle: a fast food chain based on the illusion of scarcity. People travel hundreds of miles just to stuff themselves with a bunch of turds that taste good only because they're small-sized and rare. And if you ever watched "Faggot & Faggot Go to White Castle", and you happen to be a homosexual, you might get even more hyped about tasting a shit sandwich yourself. I fall victim to the pop culture, guilty as charged. What I say about others applies to me as well, in this case. Except I go for some faggotry other than White Castle. It's all for a good cause: Capitalism. Help small business develop, I am always glad to. And what better way to do that, than to advertise them in my super smash hit movies!

I'm really sleepy, last night I slept for 17 fucking hours. I feel like this blog entry is silly and it doesn't have a good point, nor do I have the experience with movies to really claim that product placement is a good thing for their independence. I guess I'm putting this out for the movie directors reading, because I'm curious if that really is the case. I know a lot of celebrities read my blog for a fact. Don't be shy about leaving me a comment, nobody would believe it was the real you anyway, you've got nothing to lose. Give it a shot, dummy!

Intellectual Property: Take 2

This is a follow-up to Intellectual Property.

I've come up with the following axioms:

1. LABOR + REQUEST + PROPERTY = MONEY
2. LABOR + REQUEST = MONEY
3. REQUEST + PROPERTY = MONEY
4. REQUEST = NO FINANCIAL VALUE
5. LABOR = NO FINANCIAL VALUE

Here is an example: It took 2 years for John to make a sculpture of his mother made out of shit. If the feces were in fact produced by John, the sculpture is in fact his property. If the turds were however collected from a public or a private toilet, he has no right to sell it! In the latter case, the shitters have the right to request their feces back. Let's say the fecal matter was his own, but nobody else finds value in it. That would inevitably lead to the fact that his labor would indeed have no financial value itself.

Here's another example: paintings. What's so expensive about paintings? Is it the image captured on the canvas, or is it actually the canvas itself, along with the frames and the paint? You'd be surprised, but the latter is the truth. Here is the proof: replicas of the same paintings are much cheaper. Why?? What's different about a copy? You've got the same image, the exact same idea, captured on the canvas. Nothing else is different, except for the materials and their age. It's the scarcity of the painting's materials that makes it so expensive. That, combined with its popularity, of course. The price has nothing to do with neither the idea nor the labor related to the painting. In fact, I'm quite sure that the copyist took much more time and effort to replicate the exact same authentic look.

What is the value of artistic ideas? Because of art's subjective nature, the price of the ideas should be determined individually, from every person who has been exposed to them. To me, ideas cost nothing, and I am in my right to pay nothing for them, because in subjectivity, opinion equals truth. The seller of ideas has no right to prevent me from paying. However, the author always has the right to keep their idea a secret and not share it with others. This would be especially useful for inventors. This is where patents get mistaken for a tool of justice. On the opposite, patents are totally unjust, because they are weapons of monopoly. Once an idea has been exposed, there should be no laws preventing it from foreign application. That would be immoral and derogatory to the free market. Imagine what would happen if Bill Gates weren't allowed to base Windows on the MAC OS template? Your operating system would probably suck much more than it does today, because with no competition comes no desire to improve things. Plus, you'd be gay, because everyone knows MAC's turn people gay.

No plagiarism means no anthropomorphic evolution. New ideas are modeled after old ideas. Creativity is the ability to deform templates, or combine 2 or more templates into one. Creativity is to take a few old ideas and re-arrange them in your own way into something new. The more you know, the greater the potential for you is to be creative. Plagiarism causes the evolution of intellectuality. Best example: the Bible, greatest book of all. It has been rewritten so many times by so many people before it reached its current form. And who's the author? God. Because we are all God. The ideas of humanity are one whole, which is constantly growing and developing by itself, like a cell in a constant state of mitosis.

Busy Having Fun

I've been thinking about excuses. Excuses for leaving conversations, not attending to meetings, not answering the phone, etc. I realized that I only conclude my excuse is legit when it's related to mandatory and not essentially pleasant tasks. Like fixing my car, studying for the exam, helping relatives, attending to funerals... it's never about playing videogames, surfing the internet, meditating, fucking the dog, writing my blog, updating my page, etc. It's basically never about fun activities. Why is it that I have this wrong impression that only shitty obligations can get me out of a shitty situation. Why is it that I can't just say "Your party totally sounds like fun, but I'm too busy staying at home today". Not to offend them, I guess. I would be rightfully stating my priorities, but that would expose the fact that I'd rather do nothing than be with them. Why rob them of the truth? Being around people like that and compromising my precious time just for the sake of reciprocity. Am I out of my mind to think like that? Life is short and time is everything I've got and the meaning of life is to spend it as joyfully as one can, hence everyone's first priority should be doing pleasant things, and NOT DOING FUCKING CHORES. You're damn right I'm busy. I was planning on jacking off and you just called. I'm not gonna bullshit you with lies, I really can't engage in this conversation right now because all I'm thinking about is why the hell did I pick up the phone and why am I still holding my dick when you're on the phone and you're a guy.

See, one should take their priorities more seriously. The REAL priorities: fucking shit up, having a blast. I'm taking fun seriously this time. It's my life, it's my time, nobody can give me shit about it. Ever get in a discussion that started out great but it just kept dragging and you've got this awkward STUPID smile on your face and you're like CHAINED to the conversation and you just CAN'T leave it. It just keeps going on and on, and you're enjoying the company but at the same time you realize that nothing of importance is being said and time is just being wasted. And you wanna do other stuff like watching a movie or playing tennis. But the discussion is serious! It's about work! Can you really be productive with that petty smile, being stuck in the corner? It's a given you're gonna get ripped off. Another type of awkward conversations that's even worse is when you become afraid that the other person is going to leave!! They inform you that they have no time, they're in a HURRY! So you try to give them more attention because they're leaving anyway so maximum information can be exchanged. And then THEY JUST KEEP TALKING. And you can't ask them "Weren't you leaving"... it's rude! So you keep giving them what they want and you're once again in the corner. And it seems important but is it really, or is it just plain trivial crap?

This is so, YES IT IS. That's not so. I AGREE. I think this should be that. OF COURSE.

And then your whole day is gone. Why didn't I leave? Because I didn't have anything MANDATORY to do. It's my day off, every day, I've got no shit to do, I'm just fucking the dog. So that's why it's been awkward for me to exit any kind of friendly invitations, because I don't take my fun seriously. From now on I'll be completely honest and tell it like it is.

This smile, I'm not sure if anyone else experiences it. A nervous smile, muscles are strained, you can't really relax them. It occurs when you talk too much to a friend to the point where you have no idea what's going on and why you're still talking. It's ridiculous. Whenever I notice that smile on my face, I'll know that it's time to do something else. It's a desperate defense mechanism that covers up my anger and frustration which should be otherwise freely expressed, so that I exit the conversation and cause the other person to not call me for a while. But no, daddy's boy is here, he's afraid of punishment and condescension. Most people would probably empathize with my natural frustration but I mindread their reactions and fear from rejection arises that forbids me to express my true emotions. BLarerg. I think the realization that free time has its priorities and they are to be taken entirely seriously will somehow help me cope with this. Being busy having fun is more important than being busy doing chores, and that's what matters.

NLP in Practice

Learning how to put NLP into practice is easier than I ever thought. And for so many days, I was incredibly frustrated that I'll never learn how to use my skills in every day conversations. The formula that I'm about to give you here is incredibly simple and very powerful.

There are four levels of learning:

* Unawareness: You don't know about the skill yet.
* Conscious Incompetence: You've discovered a skill. This is the process where you learn the theory and model other people who have mastered the skill.
* Conscious Competence: You have learned how to replicate the skill, but it takes conscious effort to use it. You don't have enough experience to really relax and let it happen yet.
* Unconscious Competence: This is the final level where you can use the skill with no effort what so ever. The right patterns have been programmed into your brain and the skill has become an automatic behavior which you can turn on whenever you want to.

While your knowledge is probably at Level 3 right now, your self-awareness of the skills you've learned is probably at Level 1. What you need to realize is that every person is a master hypnotist at one time or another. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to try. It's already in you.

Recognition Strategy:
In simple terms, be aware of how much you already do in your life. The simple recognition of the skills you have randomly put into action is enough to encourage your brain to learn them.

Real Time Strategy:

1. Watch: Every time you're having a conversation with somebody, open a slot in your consciousness that's going to act as a spectator. Calibrate. You're gonna need a 5 seconds buffer.
2. Notice: Every time you get a change of state in the other person, notice your verbal and body language that preceded the change. Also, notice the changes in you. That's what you need the 5 seconds buffer for. You are now at level 2. You know you have unconsciously put a skill into action.
3. Recognize: You are going to recognize different patterns, that you've already learned in theory. The more often you recognize the patterns, the easier it will be for you to know how to replicate them. That would be level 3 for your self-awareness.
4. Reward: Every time you recognize you've unconsciously used an NLP technique, reward yourself with something. I usually say in my mind "Thank you, neurotransmitters! You did a great job". Rewards increase the speed of unconscious learning, because the wanted behavior becomes an anchor for them.

Memory Strategy:

1. Remember: Remember a situation where you handled something really great, became really close with a perfect stranger, convinced someone of something radical, etc. Anything that you vividly remember where you have influenced a person into changing their state.
2. Recognize: Recognize the skills you had used that you are now aware of. You'll be surprised at how good you've always been at NLP.
3. Reward: Give yourself a treat for being great.

Obama's Victory Speech

It has been discussed before that Obama uses hypnotic language patterns in his speeches to influence the masses. Just to name a few: Pacing and Leading, Causal Modeling, and ambiguity... Here I have tried to translate his victory speech so that it's more transparent to the average person. I have also added a few tips that point out where Obama is pacing with a "yes set" and then leading.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. [...] It's the answer spoken by [many different people]. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states. We are, and always will be, the United States of America. [...] It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America."

Translation: Voting for me sent a message to the World that you are not individuals. You are, and always will be, sheep. Now you will believe that change has come to America just because you voted for me.

"But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you. [...] This is your victory. And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead."

Translation: I don't want to hold responsibility over the presidency. This is your responsibility. Now you will believe that you voted for me because you understand that you must work hard.

"For even as we celebrate tonight [P], we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars [P], a planet in peril [P], the worst financial crisis in a century [P]. Even as we stand here tonight [P], we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq [P] and the mountains of Afghanistan [P] to risk their lives for us [L]."

Translation: I'm making sure you will still believe that murderers, whom we pay with your stolen money, risk their lives for you.

"There's new energy to harness [P], new jobs to be created [P], new schools to build [P], and threats to meet [P], alliances to repair [P]. The road ahead will be long [P]. Our climb will be steep [P]. We may not get there in one year or even in one term [L]. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there [L]. I promise you, we as a people will get there."

Translation: Don't expect anything from me in one term, but keep your belief anyway. Keep blindly following as the herd that you are.

"I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand."

Translation: Work hard for your nation!

"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. [...] It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice. So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other."

Translation: Don't expect anything from me at all. Instead, start believing that your being a slave will bring whatever the fuck change you're hoping for. You're responsible for making my term successful, not me. Keep working hard and don't let your fellow sheep stay behind. Be a slave to your new religion. Stay committed.

"To those - to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope."

Translation: Never doubt the ideal of democracy. Never doubt your hope. Keep on living in a dream.

"That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow."

Translation: Be proud of your history and don't leave the dream. Just make sure you work on that change thing and pay your taxes.

"Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old. She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when [...] someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin. And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: YES WE CAN. At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. YES WE CAN. When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. YES WE CAN. When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. YES WE CAN. She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." YES WE CAN."

Translation: You, just like Ann Nixon Cooper, have been through a lot of shit lately. Be prepared for more, and believe that you can cope with shit much worse than that.

"And this year [P], in this election [P], she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote [P], because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours [P], she knows how America can change [L]. YES WE CAN."

Translation: You don't know why, but now you know that America can change.

"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made? This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment."

Translation: Think of the meaning you want to apply to this "Change" thing so that you get in a trance state right before I give you my final instructions.

"This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids [P]; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace [P]; to reclaim the American dream [P] and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one [L]; that while we breathe, we hope [L]. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: YES WE CAN [L]."

Translation: Remember that you are all sheep. Remember to keep your hopes until you're dead. Remember that no reason can distract you from these blind beliefs. You don't need to listen to the critics, because you don't want to let go of predictability. Remember that you can cope with anything we do to you.

What a Dream!

I had a nightmare that was FUCKING AWESOME.

I was in a small room, perhaps a basement. A lot of young people stuffed inside. There's a 14 years old long-haired blond boy with fair skin complexion. He's lying in a drawer and a plastic tube is sticking out of his mouth. He seems either dead or in a deep coma. In the other room, there's a twin of the child, perhaps younger, who's in a similar state, except he's in a sitting position, under something like a desk. They're almost there like a decoration and nobody seems to be concerned with their well-being. Everybody else is talking and pretending there's nothing creepy about the situation.

As I enter the first room I start feeling despair. It's dark, almost no light. I jump in one of the beds angry and frustrated, as suddenly I want to cry. I begin crying and gasping for air but suddenly some guy grabs my head and starts slamming it down. I have no idea what's going on. The shock stops my crying. Soon enough more people jump me and I feel helpless; I can't even resist. One of the guys is pinching my dick and I can't make him stop, and it's fucking painful. LET GO OF MY DICK. Finally, after minutes of torture, they get tired and they let me go. I try to fall asleep again but the feeling of despair comes back to me. My brother appears. He and a few others had planned a revenge on me. It was something like throwing a bunch of clothes at me. He's waiting for my reaction now but I'm no way affected by his pathetic revenge. He's disappointed.

I stand up and start walking towards the other room. I ask the rest what's wrong with the blond child. They explain that he's dead, but still alive. How the fuck can he still be alive. The boy opens his eyes and stands up moving patiently, almost in slow motion. They pass me the end of the plastic tube sticking out of the boy's mouth. I'm expected to talk to him. It seems like he's otherwise deaf. I grab the tube and I look him in the eyes. He looks back at me; there's no flame of hope in his eyes. He's the most desparate child I've ever seen. As I try to talk into the tube, my voice becomes weaker and I can't help but lose it. I can't even break eye contact, his virtual grasp on me is so great. I don't even know what to say, but the intimidation is so strong. The child is just standing there half-dead and I'm supposed to talk to him through a fucking tube. I feel like I'm gonna start weeping any moment now. My breathing becomes rapid, my chest is tight, and my chin starts shaking from anger and sadness. I break down in tears, and this is when I woke up.

I drew that:


Turns out my mom had turned off the lights. I usually sleep with the lights on. I remember that my dad would always turn them off to force me to go to sleep when I was a child. I would cry and feel abandoned. Perhaps I'll have to finally overcome the fear and try sleeping in the dark. The pinching dick part was probably influenced by me lying in an uncomfortable position. But my mind connected the abuse with my crying because my dad used to give me "real things" to cry about, and that's one of the reasons why I can't fully associate into this emotion anymore.

The brother revenge part is influenced by him recently making a decision to stop talking to me. In my opinion he expected that I would apologize to him. Instead, I'm really happy with the way things are right now, and I think this is the best decision he has ever made so far - not to talk to me. Because he's sick in the head, and I'm one of his abusers. As such, I can't really help him nor sympathize with him. That would be like a rapist helping his victim to get over it.

The child character is a metaphor of everybody else who's like my brother. Abused people who are now living in altered states of consciousness because they are dead on the inside. Kinda like in the Matrix, of course. There's no way for one to reason with such people, unless they've been given sympathy. You've got to speak through the tube, help them understand things with their limited resources. You can't just scream into their ears if they're deaf to your words.

I might delete this entry because it's too personal, but I'll leave it as of now.