Positive Thinking

There's nothing wrong with being positive, and I completely support that attitude. The problem is that some people mistake delusion for positivity. When the glass of water is 3/4 empty and you call it half-full, you're not an optimistic person, but rather a liar (calling it 1/4 full would be the right choice). That's just a brief example of how people wanna fool themselves just for the sake of staying positive and avoiding anxiety. But hey, there's a way to face the facts and still be optimistic! And compromise is out of the question. The only requirement is curiousity. "Why" is the best thing in the world. I've been trying to accept my ignorance and explore the reason for the painful emotions I get to experience. Once I've accepted them, the pain gets decreased. Once I find what has truly caused them, they no longer hurt me.

Here's a metaphor that might explain what I mean: You fall down, you break your leg. You try to walk, but it hurts even more. You acknowledge the pain and you decide to sit down and see what's wrong. You look at your leg and your bone is sticking out - now you know the cause. You are shocked when you see the ugly truth, it might even paralyse you for a few minutes. But the adrenaline is pumping, which significantly decreases the pain. Once you get used to the objective fact, it's time for healing. Put yourself back together, avoid the actions that cause you discomfort, and you are back to being healthy. If you were a pessimist, the healing might have never started. But still, it's important that you saw what the problem was. In the case of irrational optimism, you'd be walking with a broken leg, destroying and deforming the bone with each step further, until it's too late and it needs to be amputated.

I lost contact with a lot of friends in the process of healing. I can't run with a cast on, you know. I might seem a bit dark and depressed lately, but owls ain't what they seem. Most of the time I feel pretty great, even though I'm all serious and shit. Recognizing the truth would be hard without skepticism. And long-term happiness requires a strong foundation of facts. You might think I'm crazy now, but when the Big Bad Wolf tries to blow my house down, his huffing and puffing would only make my dick hard.

There's difference between staying positive and acting like you're staying positive.

Music Sucks

Man, I hate the music industry. It's like a huge drug company... first they lure you into their evil world with their catchy tunes and what not. Then they put a demon in your head by brainwashing you with their "public relations". They make you believe that being a musician can be a successful career. How do they do that: by exposing all these faggot shits on TV and convincing you how rich they are and how much fun they're having. While this can be somewhat true about these exact "artists", it has nothing to do with reality. Them motherfuckers got all lucky and that's that. There is no music market. Nobody tells you that. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT WITH MUSIC, IF YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, BUY OUR QUALITY EQIUPMENT! It's all about people buying shitty over-priced products. The more fans believing they can become successful artists, the more customers you got. And man, I just can't stand watching these brainwashed victims obsessed with buying new equipment and talking about that shit all the time. How is that contributing to music if they ain't got no talent in the first place? Fucking $4000 guitars and all that bullcrap. I've had the opportunity to record with an expensive guitar and I did compare it to a cheap one - there was almost no difference. Faggots overhype that shit and play with your mind all the time. Manufacturers rip you off and you're the happy retard. What are you so happy about, you just wasted all your cash on a placebo! It's not even an investment cuz you'll never make it with music. You are nobody and you suck, although that doesn't even matter. And no, being a rockstar doesn't get you chicks - being an arrogant jerk does.

Some people, like me, fuck with music as a hobby. That could be fun sometimes. But most of the time it's just a time-consuming frustrating process. And when I finally complete a song, I'm thinking, "Why the fuck did I just do this!? It's not like I'M gonna listen to it". It's like defecating - you need to do it, many times it takes effort, but after you're done, you just flush it down the toilet cuz you hate that shit. I see no point in recording material anymore, unless it's provocative or offensive. Why would I care to contribute to a society of sick people who wouldn't appreciate my true work of art? And seriously, what is art? It's horse shit, that's what it is. Cheap faggotry that gives you a psychological trip. Why would anyone need that, if their life didn't already suck? Artfags are no better than junkies.

Fake and real artists contribute to the same pile of shit. Doesn't matter if you do it for the money. You're still producing "drugs" that make people believe their own fallacies, instead of acknowledging and understanding their emotions. I've always been a truth seeker. Talking to artists only made me feel confused and frustrated, since most of them are delusional and arrogant - their views about the world are awfully subjective.

Music. It's the fruit of resentful people with shit lives. It always comes down to that conclusion, no matter how you look at it. Tribal music is used for religious rites, and it's supposed to give you a psychedelic experience. You're religious? You want to escape reality? You've got a shit life. Classical music was the work of poor perverted sociopaths. Shit life. Rock and rap music are invented by black Americans - they were oppressed and confused. Shit life. Techno music was invented by faggots, I believe. Same shit. Oppression and unhappiness made all these people express their feelings through art. How great is that for those in charge? They don't have to deal with the crowd's anger and resentment anymore, cuz it's being buffered by creative activities and feasts. That's how masters preserve their power.

Bread and circus games.

After having been focused on music for the last 10 years, I finally say fuck it: it's in no way constructive nor efficient. My purpose of life is to be happy, that's what I live for. No empty cause can replace that. You can't be happy if you distort reality, and that's what artists do.
Music is artificial. I quit that shit.