Masters are Slaves

The master depends on his slave.
Without a slave, he will be no master.
He has to keep the slaves motivated.
He has to manage the slaves.
He has to protect his slaves from other masters.
He has to protect himself from other master wannabes.

Masters are slaves to their slaves, like farmers are slaves to their animals.

There are masters and slaves in relationships. If Tom hates Jack's company but keeps communicating with him, he is a masochistic slave. Tom is going to project his healthy pain onto Jack, by passive-aggressively annoying him. So this makes Jack's experience equally unpleasant now. Jack feels either annoyed, guilty, ashamed, or simply paranoid, because Tom is being too friendly, too submissive, or too ambiguous. It never feels like Tom is expressing his honest thoughts. These triggered painful feelings in Jack really provoke him to want to figure out Tom and manage him, being the master that he is. There is this S&M bond between them, but Jack is not only the sadist, but also a masochist, too. Jack needs to fix Tom because he depends on him, in a fucked up way - he likes to be in control. So he personalizes Tom's issues and becomes even less free than his slave. And Tom needs Jack because he has a victim mentality - he must be the morally superior, altruistic victim.

You know who Jack is. That's me. I'm a sadomasochist. My dad was a master, my mom is a slave. I can be Tom, too. Especially around people who I can't relate to. I don't know what that means. I didn't know my father too well, maybe that's why I associate strangers with him? Who knows... but I don't want to be either.

What makes people play such roles? My guess is that it all comes down to personal responsibility. Slaves are too afraid to take personal responsibility, and masters feel responsible for their slaves' behavior. The slave wants to avoid personal responsibility because he fears making a bad choice, because he fears punishment. He would do anything to stay away from being held accountable - submit to master's commands, get in a character (often impersonating his master), engage in a dissociative behavior (take drugs, play videogames, pray to God), engage in a passive-aggressive behavior (look below). The master, on the other hand, wants to avoid his slave's failure, because that would feel like crashing his favorite car in a reckless accident - it would show what a bad driver he is, and it would prevent him from being in control again. Basically, the master takes his slaves' problems personally, for fear of losing them. He personalizes other people's issues, because that's how he was taught to solve problems in the family. His parents would emotionally manipulate him into doing things for them in order to make them feel better. He couldn't have done otherwise, or else he'd lose them.

And losing parents is equal to death in the eyes of a child.

Here is a list of common signs of Passive Aggressive Behavior: Ambiguity or speaking cryptically (They engender a feeling of insecurity in others), Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness, Avoiding conflict or confrontation, Blaming others (unable to accept blame), Chronic lateness and forgetfulness, Complaining, Compulsiveness (including excessive cleanliness, tidiness and attention to detail), Does not express hostility or anger openly (e.g. expresses it instead by leaving notes), Fear of authority, Fear of competition, Fear of dependency, Fear of intimacy (infidelity as a means to act out anger), Fosters chaos, Intentional inefficiency, Irrational Fears/ Paranoia, Losing things, Lack of Trust, Making excuses (This sort of individual will usually not agree with the particular reason you provide for their mistake but will create their own reason), Manipulative (Similar to being in need of control but more sinister as an offensive mechanism to achieve a self-serving goal. Therefore, the passive aggressive person is often very greedy), Need for Control, Lying, Obstructionism, Prideful, Procrastination, Resentment, Resists suggestions from others, Sarcasm, Stubbornness, Sullenness, Unable to communicate well, Victim Mentality (Example: Being willing to accept someone's apology as a pretense to being right), Willful withholding of understanding.

What's the solution? Respect a person enough to let him deal with his own problems, unless he genuinely asks for advice. I know it's very hard to resist the temptation to be in control, and if you can't, try to stay away from that person. Let me know if there's anything I've missed.

Note: I have expanded on that subject in this post: More on Masters & Slaves

Intimate Relationships

A bunch of questions from a virgin:

Why do you always have to look at women as potential sexual partners? Let's say you have a girlfriend and you guys decide to break up, but stay friends. How do you stay friends with a chick who you've never been friends with? Why would you wanna stay friends with somebody you've broken up with? Can you break up with a friend? Is sexual intimacy something independent of friendliness? Isn't your girlfriend supposed to be your best friend, too? What if you have a female best friend who you're not intimate with? Would mating with another girl be fair? Is sex a reward? The tip of a good friendship? Or is it something entirely independent of friendly exchanges? I know it comes down to brain chemicals. But what triggers these chemicals, besides physical attractiveness? Isn't hiding your real self from your girlfriend equivalent to being pussy-whipped?

I don't know man, shit is so fucked up and confusing. It starts out with stereotypes and taboos and goes all the way up to this mess. I believe that if we took all these out, sex could be more like playing a game with your best friends, and not the sole purpose of having a good relationship with a member of the opposite gender. I don't know, these are just some ignorant embarrassing speculations. I'd like to be better educated on this topic, but I'm almost sure there are like a thousand different theories.

A friend of mine helped me realize that I have a bit unrealistic standards. That's why I don't understand the friend-to-girlfriend transformation. I was asked about my sexual fantasies so I found out that I would only be comfortable to engage in an intimate relationship with a woman like the fictional character Maude Lebowski: care-free, no issues, no sentimentality, just completely honest and content with her own nature. Women like that don't exist. Some create the impression that they are such, but the more you get to know them, the more you hear about their issues, taboos, and insecurities. So that's why the friendlier a relationship becomes, the less sexually appealing a woman would appear to me. And it's unfair of me to have such standards for females, because I myself have my own issues to deal with.

Nine Inch Nails Sucks

Google doesn't find even one web page where the main topic is "Nine Inch Nails Sucks". NIN are extremely overrated, and that's the main reason I wanted to express my dislike for this musical project. Reznor's fans claim that his sound is exceptionally good just because he uses expensive equipment and experimental effects. The fact of the matter is, there is evident noise level in his songs, and even some clipping. Some people say that it's a good thing you can hear all of the instruments in a NIN song. This is actually a sign of bad mixing. Most instruments in a mix are supposed to compliment each other, not individually stand out on their own. I don't like NIN's beats, they are badly put together, let's say, compared to Prodigy's beats, which are perfect. I gave Prodigy's beats as an example of well-glued samples in a way that they sound homogeneous, like real drum beats. Update: turns out NIN's drum beats are real, it's just that they're so badly mixed, they sound like bad techno made in Fruity Loops.



If you layer Reznor's vocal tracks one over the other at the same tempo, I wouldn't be surprised if the melodies match. You could call it "style", but most of his songs have the same tune played in different keys, with various alterations. Also, Reznor's singing voice is unoriginal and boring. The songs are too repetitive and they lack dynamics. The lyrics are pretentious and boring. They look like some teenage girl wrote them during her period. Except, teen angst poetry is a tad less tedious and sometimes fun to fap to.

Trent Reznor is an elitist prick who takes himself too seriously. He's a supporter of PETA - a terrorist group. He's a narcissistic asshole who somehow manages to influence others into believing that he's a big deal. I'm willing to bet that most of his fans are teenagers who have received bad parenting but still love their parents. Don't ask me why, psychology. Not that hip to have in such a cutting edge article like this one.

No More Sticky Shit

Fuck man, is it normal that it usually takes me about 9 long pieces of toilet paper to fully wipe my ass? Quite often my hand gets so tired of wiping, it goes numb. I hate this shit, man, it's depressing. I try not to think about it too much, but every now and then, when I have nothing to overload my mind with, I really lose my temper. If that's an everyday thing for many people, no wonder there is so much anger and suffering throughout the world. It makes me wanna hold it in as long as possible so that I don't have to go through the nightmare of wiping once again. I even tried using wet wipes and it takes me like 20 of these to get rid of the brown.


An average of 9 long pieces of TP used in 3 flushes (last flush may vary)

Some people suggest that I wash without wiping, but I find this to be disgusting, and not secure at all. How do you check if you've washed the shit? At least with toilet paper you can always look at your last piece of art and wipe until you've got a blank canvas. And with water, you're splashing chunks of feces all over the bathtub. You get shit under your fingernails, you get shit on the hairs of your thighs, you get shit on your pubes.

The shitting position that most people acquire turns out to be wrong. Here is the suggested correct one: bend your head forward and down to the position where your head is between your knees. Your back should be as close to parallel to the floor as possible. Your shoulders should touch your knees. Grab your legs between your ankle and knee. Pull your shoulders down against your knees and let it out! This way, they say, the shit goes out easier and it makes less of a mess. Bullshit. It didn't work for me.



Some people suggest removing the hair around the anus. That was the closest to a good solution. Although my feces were still sticky, at least there was less to wipe. The inconvenience of shaving was too much for me, though. I mean, I'm a guy who hates shaving his face, so... Months later, I finally found the real solution to the problem. After hours of research and lurking on internet forums, I discovered Psyllium Husk Powder and Dandelion Tea. Man, oh man. Do I love to take a shit now. It only takes me a couple of minutes and 2-3 pieces of toilet paper to wipe. It's like I'm a new person. I don't know what is it about these herbs, but they're powerful, man. So if you've got sticky feces, give it a shot, it worked for me.

Introducing Chaos

You've got to be a determinist to understand what I've written below.

People have a choice based on their judgment, which is based on their belief system, which is based on their past and current experience, which is based on the interpretation of external and internal events, which is based on focus, which is based on genetic predispositions. It all comes down to the survival instinct. We choose to focus on whatever's best for our survival. In the big picture, choice is just part of the whole cause-effect chain.

The big issue is that we often construct new beliefs upon our prior beliefs, which many times turn out to be outdated, especially if you've had a violent past. In this fashion, many of our choices are in fact irrational, since we're accessing old shortcuts in our mind to files that no longer run on the new operating system - the current external world. We compare new things to old things, but what makes the old things qualified to set standards?

One doesn't have a choice but to act predictably according to his predetermination, or does he? I've been thinking... if you want some randomness in your decision making, you can always flip a coin. It's risky, but it can also be beneficial, in a way that you might have gotten used to a bad strategy, and trying something new may help you expand your knowledge of alternative strategies. So if you toss a coin, you cheat your own predictability, and you bring some chaos to your choosing. The risk you're taking is, you might make an unpredictably irrational decision. The purpose, of course, is to make an unpredictably rational one.

The coin toss would inevitably become a part of your belief system, and your judgment would then be directly influenced by chance. This is dangerous stuff, and I wouldn't experiment with important dilemmas. This should only be used as a method of seeking alternative beliefs, rather than having chance itself be that alternative criterion of choice. Fictional character Harvey Dent is a perfect example of the latter case.