Talking behind someone's back is like having loaded your gun to kill your enemy, but then shooting at his silhouette target. It's like making a dummy of your evil boss and lashing out your anger at it, just so that you don't lose it tomorrow at work. Your anger is your bullets. Let's say your coworker Dick has a bad habit that really pisses you off, but you're too chicken shit to let him know about it. Instead, you turn to Bob, the colleague who you're better friends with, and you tell him the emotionally-charged story of Dick's disgusting habit and how he should stop doing it. It's like you're a mime fighting the invisible Dick. Could be very entertaining, depending on Bob's taste. And it surely feels great for your false-self, because you get to be a winner in front of an audience, without actually fighting the enemy. You could tell this story to anyone over and over again, and you'll have to keep telling it, unless you got rid of the problem. This is how you become a performer under your false ego's directing. But every time you tell the story, you empty your magazine full of anger, and the next time Dick does that annoying thing, it'll be too late for you to reload and shoot at him, because he'd already be out of range. Best case scenario, you'd have some ammo left, but it won't be enough for the kill. Meaning, you won't be angry enough to take action, because you'll feel like you've already done this before.
That's how you minimize your chances of finding real friends, and instead you surround yourself with enemies. Talking behind a person's back strongly contributes to avoiding the conflict that needs to be resolved. And avoiding the conflict would only lead to a compromise of your personal preferences, and letting the individual invade more of your personal space.
Keep your ammo.
