After a decent second season of Metalocalypse, the notorious DETHKLOK are back with a new eardrum-popping album. Yes, the writer of this article no longer has hearing capabilities, for his ears bled to death. Nathan Explosion's voice has been destroyed from drinking and fatigue, which only increased the impact of brutality that the new songs bring. His voice is now weaker and raspier. Reminds you of something? Yes, this is the sound of death coming closer to you.
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DIE!
The [adult swim] network recently aired the TV premiere of DETHKLOK's latest video, "Bloodlines". Babies all around the world woke up weeping, with cockroaches coming out of their orifices (including anus, urethra, and vagina). Old people shat their pants, resulting in deadly colon ruptures. Women gave birth to malformed freaks that bit off their mothers' private parts. The fans who were watching lost their sight. Their imagination started projecting horrific hallucinations of an altered childhood. Dads mutating into demons, while having intercourse with their mothers. Grandmothers cooking their husbands' sex organs. The survivors are few, and they are chosen to help the Antichrist demolish the world in 2012.
LET NO ONE SURVIVE!
What's next after "Bloodlines"? 11 more tracks of rapture. Skwisgaar's strings cut through the speakers as he violently punishes his guitar with an angry fist of death. "Laser Cannon Deth Sentence" is pretty catchy, and it's probably the most memorable song on this album. The chorus of "Dethsupport" is awesome. The whole song is epic. Ever since Deathalbum II got released, the death rate of senior citizens has been steadily and quickly growing. Coincidence?
PULL THE PLUG! PULL THE PLUG!!
Most DETHKLOK fans had to go through an electro-shock training program in order to learn the title of "I Tamper With The Evidence At The Murder Site Of Odin" by heart. Half of them died during the educational process. The other half managed to learn it, but after reciting the title aloud, their hearts exploded. Great song. "Murmaider II: The Water God" is not nearly as awesome as the original. It's rather dull and boring. The rest of the songs are pretty much filler. Dethalbum II is a self-destructive repertoire of sinking talent in the depths of Hell. How does this critic rate the album? Well he's already blind and deaf. The last thing he screamed into the recorder, before cutting off his tongue, was "666 out of 10".
