I'll probably stop blogging for a while. I've got some issues that need to be taken care of. Like, I'd always put myself in a situation where people would annoy me. I let them fuck with me and then I blame them. It's fucked up, I'm losing my mind. It's like running on the streets screaming "PUNCH ME IN THE FACE" and then wondering why they punched you. Fucked up shit, I tell you. Thanks to my false-self, I've burnt bridges with people who actually cared about me and respected me for who I am. I needed that punch, and I asked for it. Made me realize how stupid I've become.
I always try to force my creativity because I want every day to be productive. I don't have a "real" job, so I try to make a career out of my art. If a day goes by without me having done anything creative, I feel like a worthless consumer. I just hate being passive cuz it hurts my ego. That ain't right. I mean, who am I proving myself to? Society? Why do I care about contributing to society? I think I've been brainwashed by my parents and relatives. It's time that I take procrastination to a higher level. From now on, I'll stop caring about being productive. Creativity should NOT be forced. It should be the IDEA ITSELF that forces artists to produce shit.
Oh man, my ego is so hard to please. I wish I had the sizzle points to be attractive. I just wanna know that hot preppy girls want me. They're not even my type: meanwhile, I'll be fucking a bunch of bizarre skanks. Hell, just making the hip cunts jealous would make me so happy. That'd be like a "Fuck you" to the motherfucking mainstream. The guys would wanna look like me, and I'd always think of the wackest shit to wear, just to fuck with them (not literally). I'm competitive like that, I wanna be the hottest dude. My PR agent, Vans Vega, made a fitness program for me, and I'm gonna be doing that shit for a while: hardcore physical exercise on a strict diet. Actually, it's not as hard as I thought... it only takes me 3 hours a day.
So yeah, I'll be back, niggas. Citius, Altius, Fortius.
