I came up with a list of factors to help one determine whether they're being manipulated.
1. Guilt:
The Manipulator covertly makes you feel guilty and makes you question your own credibility. He can do so by ignoring certain aspects of what you're saying, or giving you a condescending look whenever you ask him a critical question about an ambiguous thing he's told you. Another way to elicit guilt is to use a condemning voice tonality and dramatic pauses. Response: State your observations and how you feel. Don't mind read. Question Manipulator's ambiguous behavior. Don't ask "Why" questions because they can provoke defensive reactions. Instead, ask META Model questions: "What/How specifically?", "Says who?", etc.
2. Instant Discomfort:
When you feel discomfort for a fraction of the second but then you discredit it and try to justify your reaction, you are most likely being manipulated. Response: Stop for a second and think about your initial reaction. Share what you felt with whomever caused it. Don't mind read, be curious. If you still feel this discomfort, be assertive until closure.
3. Nervous Grin:
When you have a frozen nervous smile on your face and you feel paralyzed in some way, this means that emotionally you agree with what's being said, but cognitively, you disagree. You are probably being manipulated. Response: Stop for a second and really think about what you're observing. Imagine the message delivered to you without the emotional attachment to it, and try to delete the loaded language.
4. Liking:
When you want to be liked by someone for no apparent reason, even if you don't like them back, you are being manipulated. You might try to fool yourself that you actually like the Manipulator and you might experience guilt for "unconditionally" disliking him. Response: Ask yourself what's in it for you in this relationship. Objectively evaluate the person's attitude specifically towards you. Don't be biased by the way he treats others.
5. Awkward Silence:
When you feel like you're not supposed to say anything but it's expected from you to say something. The Manipulator says nothing and perhaps looks at you with expectation, after you've already finished talking. Questions where you have to "fill in the blank" are being asked often. Response: Tell him you're finished talking when you don't know what else to say. Another response is to stare back at him without saying nothing. Use the moment to break state, excuse yourself and leave the conversation instead of complying. Think about what happened and objectively evaluate the situation.
6. Gibberish:
When someone's talking to you in a non-distinguishable way without letting you question what they mean. They might prevent you from asking for the meaning by making it appear as self-evident. You feel stupid to ask. Response: Ask in an offended way, as in, HOW DARE YOU not tell me what this means. This would not make you look stupid, but instead would pass the ball back to the Manipulator.
7. Confusion:
When a person's prevalent attitude is confusing to you. You might begin to hyperventilate or find yourself in loss of words. If that's the case, you're likely to be manipulated. Response: As soon as you start feeling confused, don't let the momentum get you. It's critical that you catch yourself being confused. Once you realize that, begin pretending you are still confused without actually listening to what the Manipulator is saying, and wait for their move.
8. Fear:
Talking about general negative consequences in a way that implies they're gonna happen to you. Response: Ask the Manipulator to be more specific, as to how the issues he's presenting concern him personally, and how are they relevant to the conversation. Don't let him get ambiguous, keep things chunked down, or else he's gonna get you.
9. Unfounded Hierarchy:
When a rank is based on something which is not related to the specific field. This creates false incentives for group members. If you enter such group, you are to be manipulated. Response: Be independent of any ranks, take an observer role. If you feel peer pressure being applied to you, leave the group.
