Being a son could often be a pretty tough full-time job, don't you all agree?
Most parents don't love their children unconditionally. Instead they only show affection when something has been achieved, thus making a "human-doing" out of their kids. You wanna get some cash, you gotta beg mommy and daddy. But "money has to be earned". One way or another they'll make you work for that shit. When not achieving things, you get labeled a bad boy, and they deprive you from goods. You might get the impression that you're a fundamentally flawed person who can only prove his worth by contributing to society. Yeah, I was one of those people, because I happen to have been raised as a slave, like many other kids, for sure. When a day passed without a finished task, I always felt like shit. I'm still working on fixing that problem, because it's not an easy task. The strict self-discipline and perfectionism, the fear of failure, the uneasiness around people who know more than me in a particular field... being in control is addictive to human-doings, because they always have to avoid the constant shame, based on the deep notion that they're worthless. They strongly believe this, subconsciously, and that's why they fear making mistakes. Any mistake would blow their cover and they would feel naked and ashamed. The perfectionist's deepest secret: he's "evil" and he has to constantly hide it by being great at everything. That was me, but it's time to move on, right? If you are not being in control physically, that doesn't mean you lack psychological control. People who enjoy being physically abused are addicted to being in control of their "negative" emotions by suppressing their sadness and hurt.
